what would those headlines look like?

So. In the same way that romance novels often (not always) reinforce the idea that excellent sex emerges from creative, athletic technique and large, frequent orgasms, magazine covers ubiquitously tell us that orgasm and technique are the keys to avoiding mediocrity in bed.

A few examples from a Google Image search for “Cosmo Magazine”:

The oh! zone: how to find your orgasm EVERY time

67 New Sex Tricks Including the Tongue Swirl that Will Push Him Over the Edge

How Long Guys Want Sex to Last

What Guys Hate for You to Wear to Bed

HIS #1 SEX WISH 71% of Guys Crave This Move. You’re Gonna Want to Drop the Magazine and and Do It on the Spot

BAD GIRL SEX 75 Tricks for Nights When You Want to Be Just a Little Naughtier

OWN HIS ORGASM (What Men Secretly Want Right Before They Blast Off)

The Sex Angle that [Intensifies]{.underline} Female Pleasure (Call it G-Spot Geometry)

100% HOTTER SEX Thrill Every Inch of His Body Using a Move No Woman Has Dared to Try on Him Before

Best. Sex. Ever. Our Gutsy New Tips Are Guaranteed to Give Him the Most Badass Orgasm Imaginable… And You Too!

(Isn’t it adorable how a woman’s own orgasm is a little aside, next to her male partners?)

What would these headlines look like if they promoted REALLY great sex, the sex that blows the tops off people’s heads and replaces them with potholders, goofy grins, and a new understanding of the nature of the universe?

Let’s see.

OPEN YOUR EYES Try this one radical trick for intensifying intimacy and deepening connection!

5 Tips for Paying More Attention to the Sensations in Your Body

What Your Partner REALLY Wants You to Be Thinking About (Hint: It’s Not Your Technique, It’s How Much You Enjoy Being with Them)

PLEASURE: It’s the New ORGASM

It’s Neither the What You Do Nor the Way That You Do It; It’s HOW YOU FEEL About What You’re Doing While You Do It

50 Little Ideas for Big Emotional Connection

MINDFULNESS MAGIC How Paying Attention to Your Breath Can Revolutionize Your Sex Life

YOU’RE ALREADY FINE Everything You’re Doing in Bed is Great, As Long As You Have Mutual Consent and Feel Confident and Joyful.

With CONFIDENCE and ATTUNEMENT, Any Tongue Swirl Will Push Your Partner Over the Edge

I’m sure ya’ll have more ideas.

Now I want to write a magazine.