Here’s an awesome question:
If you could re-design the sexuality education curriculum for middle/high school students what would you change? (i.e. what are some practical relationship skills that you think are missing in today’s youth?)
Honestly, I’d redesign the curriculum so that it was the parents who received the education. Parental shame about sex transmits DIRECTLY into kids’ brains and screws them right the hell up. Fix the parents’ shame, and the kids will sort themselves out.
But assuming we can’t do that, I think if I could teach just one central skill to kids, I’d teach… well, I suggested a list of six things once, but of those I think the most important might be emotion coaching, which includes an awareness of feeling as a cycle and the capacity to allow your emotional state to be what it is without trying to force it to be something different.
Once we’ve taught kids how to do this (and you see how much we need to help parents with this too), the next step is teaching the capacity to allow OTHERS’ internal states to be what they are, to respect them and allow them the time and space they require.
When every 15 year old on the continent of North America can take feeling seriously without taking them personally, there will be peace and justice.
The rest – how to use a condom, how to ask for what you want, how to have an orgasm – the rest is details.
This question deserves more serious and patient thought that I can give it at this point in the sextravaganza – I will return to it!