the best valentine's gift


I know there are people out there who are in relationships – by which I mean everyone I know is in a relationship – and probably at least some of you would like a new idea for Valentine’s Day.

So here it is, only SHHHHHHHH! Don’t tell the S.O.!


I know, you thought I was gonna say some kind of mind-blowing sex trick, right? But the thing about mind-blowing sex tricks is that ANYTHING sexual can be mind-blowing if it’s done with confidence and joy. Bringing confidence and joy with you into bed = mind-blowing sex trick. There ya go.

Anyway. Appreciation. It’s one of the things humans give and receive in relationships, one of the few resources we really do NEED other people to give us. It’s a fast way to increase your ratio of good stuff to not-so-good stuff, and it’s what your Sig O really wants but would almost never ask for.

Write down your appreciation. Don’t just think about it; actually write it down. Write down at least 3 things – 5 is better and 10 is awesome – that your S.O. does that humble you with their beauty, kindness, generosity, thoughtfulness, grace, skill, power. Try, particularly, to include something the S.O. wants to like about themselves but maybe the world doesn’t understand it or it’s imperfect or it’s not easily compatible with your life together. This is the time to let your goober know that that imperfect, challenging thing is actually a gift they give you every day and it’s all you can do not to actually kneel down in front of them and sing their beauty.

You don’t have to put your list in a card and you don’t have to read it out loud or anything if you don’t want to. It’s a good enough present that just typed in 12-point Times New Roman and printed on plain white A4 paper, it’ll still be the best thing you’ve ever done. Just give it to them.

Also, confidence and joy. And lots of lube. You’ll never go wrong.

Happy hunting.\ e