orgasm 3: vibration

There are two things I’d like everyone in the universe to know about women, orgasms, and vibrators:

First, 95% of women who masturbate do so with no vaginal penetration (see Orgasm 1). So even though many quality sex toy shops feature a rows of phallic vibrators lined up like soldiers, with oscillating heads and beaded shafts and god only know what else, and even though these displays make an awe-inspiring, wallet-opening presentation, in fact most of women’s masturbation involves clitoral stimulation alone.

Don’t get me wrong, ain’t nothin’ wrong with penetrative masturbation, heck no, I just wanna make sure ya’ll know that most women, most of the time, don’t do it, despite what porn, mainstream media, and, indeed, too many sex educators might have you believe.

Second, the important thing about vibrators is the intensity of stimulation they provide – far more stimulation than you can get organically. (Reference the dual control model.) For women who take longer to orgasm than they want (avg. 10-30 minutes, with wide variability, from 2 minutes to an hour +), or who have difficulty orgasming from oral, manual, or penetrative sex, a vibrator can provide more stimulation and give you more control, and it will never get frustrated, bored, or impatient.

Can you get “addicted” to your vibrator? I get asked this fairly frequently. The short answer is “No.” The longer answer is that you can certainly get used to needing only a few minutes to orgasm, and so when you go for orgasm without the toy you might feel like it’s taking aaaaaaaaaages, when really it’s just taking as long as it always did pre-vibrator. But using a vibrator will not make it impossible for you to orgasm by a different modality, just as learning to orgasm through (random example) earlobe stimulation will not prevent you from orgasming through direct clitoral stimulation.

The reason for this is that there are not 60 kinds of orgasm; there is just ONE orgasm: the explosive release of sexual tension – but that’s another post.