Orgasm 6: there can be only one

This week’s orgasm post is a myth debunker.

Cosmo would have you believe that there are 487 different kinds of orgasm and that you’re sexually inadequate if you haven’t had them all at least twice every night, but Cosmo makes you money by making you feel bad about yourself. I don’t, so trust me instead:

There is only one kind of orgasm.

This is very good news!!

Orgasm is simply the explosive release of sexual tension. How that tension is generated doesn’t matter – and humans (particularly females), in their vast sexual plasticity, can have orgasms from nearly any kind of stimulation, given practice and a sexy context.

Mostly women have them via clitoral stimulation – and let’s remember that the clitoris is everywhere you want to be, it’s VAST. We can also have them via shallow or deep vaginal penetration, internal or external anal stimulation, inner thigh or breast stimulation, earlobes, toes, backs of the knees, small of the back, arches of the feet… pretty much if there’s sensation, you can learn to have orgasms from it.

People can even have orgasms by thinking about it. There’s an utterly charming film called “Zen Pussy,” which features shots of a wide variety of vulvas – every shape, size, color, even a surgically constructed vulva – attached to women who are bringing themselves to orgasm with nothing more than their breath, their imaginations, and muscle tension. You watch their tissues swell and darken and then see their muscles flex and pulse. It’s just lovely. I highly recommend it.

And orgasms can feel different, too. One day I’ll get around to doing a g-spot post, but in the meantime just know that a g-spot generated orgasm can feel very different from a clit generated orgasm. Why? Not because it’s physiologically distinct but because context shapes perceptions and the gating mechanism and… well it’s complicated. Just they can feel different even though they’re not physiologically different. Orgasms are as heterogeneous as women are.

So anyway. Lots of ways to generate sexual tension, only one orgasmic response. Whatever way you get there is completely groovy, and if you want to learn to have them in new ways, practice, practice practice.