Let us turn our thoughts to the excellent men in the world. Shall we?
My sister’s husband took the recycling to the grocery store today without being asked.
My mom’s husband brings her flowers regularly. Why? Because he thinks of her, feels like the jammy bastard he is, and wants to give her something to say thank you.
A student who graduated last year? Her boyfriend, as a surprise, flew from Germany just to spend the weekend with her .
Then there was the usually reticent young gentleman who lay with me one night and said quite spontaneously, “In the moon light you are, quite literally, breathtaking.”
Well I mean.
I mean shucks.
Bridging the chasm between how you feel and what you do about it is a specialized skill that culture insists no Real Man should learn. Some people have it intuitively, some people deliberately learn it, some people get it right only when intense feelings meet extreme relaxation and a no-risk environment. Some people may never get there. The men I’ve mentioned have surmounted the cultural inhibitors that shut the gate between a guy’s feelings and his actions.
Tell ya what, if you’re a relationship with a guy who succeeds at this, give him his props today, wouldja? And no matter how successful are the men in your life at putting out emotively, let’s all of us try and create a low-demand, low-risk, unconditionally accepting environment where maybe maybe maybe they can take a couple new risks.