I don’t want to write this post. I don’t want to write it because it could too easily sound like 17 things I don’t mean it to sound like. Yet I feel compelled to make the point. So here goes:
(1) Some gay men – not all – are aversive to female bodies and fluids.\ (2) Some gay men who are aversive to female bodies and fluids – not all – feel totally and completely comfortable expressing their aversion:
At 3:10: “So remember: we gays know tragedy. Before we came out, we had to eat pussy!”
(The “had to” is my favorite part of that sentence.)
It’s a thing that happens. Science doesn’t know why, and science, as far as I can tell, seems pretty uninterested in why, but it turns out that in the same way that some (but definitely not all) asexuals are aversive to sex in general, some gay men are aversive to sex with women and some gay women are aversive to sex with men. Even the idea of sex with them. Even the idea of the relevant parts and fluids, even if no behaviors are involved.
Yes, there are straight men who are aversive to women’s sexuality also, but that appears to be a different type of phenomenon, more purely social, whereas gay men’s aversion seems to be tied to their sexual orientation. I have some ideas about how this mechanism might work, but it’s all speculation.
So it happens, and in a lot of ways our culture tolerates gay men jokingly bashing on women’s bodies. Why? Maybe we forgive it, culturally, because we don’t want to seem homophobic. Maybe it’s just a whole lot better, in the ranking of cultural privilege, to be a gay MAN than to be a woman. I don’t know.
I don’t tolerate it, personally. I call bullshit – at my own peril, as many of you know. It bugs me when people who want acceptance for their sexuality degrade and belittle the sexuality of others. I can kind of understand it, but I don’t like it.
I have this terrible sinking feeling that I’m going to regret this post, but I can’t NOT say it out loud. Sometimes gay men are grossed out by women’s bodies, in a way that straight men rarely are. It happens, it does.
Does that give aversive folks permission to talk about women’s bodies like they’re made of yuck? I’m sayin’ no.