I like penises on principle. I like clitorises too. In fact, I think the whole phallus situation is pretty swell, if you’ll pardon the expression, and worthy of celebration.
But here’s another one of those things I forget people don’t know.
Penises vary – not so much as clitorises do, but still. And one of their main variable features is the direction in which they point.
Why do penises do this?
Well. The shaft of the penis is actually made of three different chambers: the corpus spongiosum (spongy body – how I do love Latin) and the corpora cavernosa (cavernous bodies). Like this:
If one of those chambers is longer than the others, it ends up curved, see? If the corpus spongiosum is longer than the corpora cavernosa, he’ll point UP, and if it’s shorter than the corpora cavernosa, he’ll point DOWN. Ditto right and left, and the greater the difference the greater the curve.
Something to note is that the female homologue of the penis, the clitoris, doesn’t curve not visibly, because the shaft isn’t made of multiple chambers.
Unless it causes pain, there’s no need to do anything about it. It’s just normal variation.
There are various tricks you can do with a curvy penis that you can’t with a straight one. It’s basically an automatic g-spot stimulator, given the right angle of penetration, and often can provide more comprehensive vulva stimulation during frottage.
I find there’s a cultural prejudice against curvy penises and, as with all cultural prejudices, I frown on it. We like things straight in our culture, but I like things a little crooked.
My view is that curvy penises exhibit a kind of wabi sabi, the Japanese aesthetic of imperfection as beauty. Like scars. But where scars show us how a life has been lived in a body, a curvy penis shows us how a fetus grew, how a child aged into manhood: the entire cascade of biological developmental processes is encapsulated within the idiomatic, transcendent asymmetry of a curvy penis.
Really, it’s the perfect subject for haiku. (I won’t be the one to write it, though.)