top hat smorgasbord: ones I've answered on the blog

So hey, tomorrow is the first anniversary of the blog! That’s cool, right? In honor of that, let’s take a look back, as mediated by my students’ questions. See, there were a buncha questions in the top hat that I’ve addressed previously on the blog. Here ya go:

Not because I think I “should” or “must” enjoy anal sex but because I genuinely think it’s a fun idea and I’d like to find it more pleasurable, what kinds of things can my (male) partner and I do to facilitate it?

Relaxation, Lubrication, Communication. Not necessarily in that order.

Is the g-spot a myth? Or why do some people claim it is

It is not a myth, but that doesn’t mean YOU in particular will enjoy g-spot stimulation. You might… and you might not. Here is an intro the g-spot and here’s what to do with it. While we’re at it, the g-spot is probably why it feels like you have to pee during intercourse.

The g-spot has a rocky history mostly because of statistics. Because women vary a great deal, statistically capturing women’s sexual functioning at the population level is pretty much impossible. So it’s perfectly possible, for example, that one study would show statistical significance and another wouldn’t – which is what happened last year.

The g-spot “controversy,” if you can call it that, is an example of what happens when you try to establish universal descriptions of women’s sexuality. You just can’t. Women vary from each other, and a woman varies across her lifespan.

How common is female ejaculation

I have no idea. I know that it varies culturally, so it’s not just a biological thing, and as I said with the g-spot, women vary not only across a population about also within their own lifespans. Here’s what I do know about female ejaculation.

Best sex trick?

Confidence and joy. Also

  1. Pay attention to your partner.
  2. It’s not about orgasm
  3. Enjoy the sex you’re having.

If you’re looking for something more concrete and specific, try excellent torture. Here’s some stuff specifically for foreplay and here’s some stuff specifically for intercourse. Here’s a post about tricks with penises and here’s one about tricks with vulvas, and here’s one about simultaneous orgasm.

How can you truly tell is a guy likes you?!

Body language, mostly.

If you use a vibrator every time you have sex and/or maturbate, can you become desensitized to fingers/hands? WIll vibrators be the only way you can orgasm

Nope. And since we’re talking about it, here is some other stuff I have to say about vibrators.

What’s the longest lasting personal lubricant?

Silicone-based lubes last longest. Oil is good too, but it’s not okay to use with latex and also doesn’t belong inside a vagina.

Does sex addiction exist

Sexual compulsivity exists. “Sex addiction” is not a clinical term.