prepared for the unexpected

I’ve announced it to most of my family, he’s announced it to his, so now I can tell ya’ll:

We’re getting married. And by we I mean the romantic euphemism and me. We’re getting married. To each other.

He finds my degrees sexy. I find his credit score a turn on. He’s hilarious and creative; I’m… I don’t know what I am, but whatever it is, he seems to like it enough to want to live with me for the next few decades, so it must be PRETTY AWESOME. He’s getting my health insurance. I’m getting his patient companionship through fucking January. He writes about humans dating robots, I write about monkey sex (sort of). A match made in… well, on the internet, as it happens. Your go-to place for chaos and random good luck. And robots.

We’re also buying a house, which turns out to be FUCKING COMPLICATED and has taken up a great deal of my brain space, so I’m doing what you do in the twenty-first century when your brain is full: blogging about it. The romantic euphemism will also be writing about it, but not until after he finishes building [the longest book in iBooks Author history..

(Sidenote: there’s a page there called “advise us.” Seriously, if you’ve either gotten married or bought a house, please leave us tips for success.)

I must say, deciding to get married is TOTALLY DIFFERENT than I expected. It’s much, much nicer and deeper and more important than I ever thought it would be. And I can’t help but contrast it with my experience so far with homebuying. I feel like I totally have a handle on the surprises of getting married – so far, anyway. But I am absolutely at sea when it comes to mortgages, roofs, escrow, and the incomprehensible amount of money involved in it all.

It’s an affirmation of science, I think: knowing about stuff intellectually, knowing the research about relationship dynamics, in no way detracts from your surprise, pleasure, and excitement at experiencing it first hand. But it DOES make you better prepared, so you know what to do when that surprise comes. I’m prepared for the unexpected cascade of events related to being in a permanent, legally binding relationship because I’ve spent years learning about it, yet it’s still delightful and surprising. I’m utterly blind about the house stuff, and it is AGONY.

So. I thought the summer was going to be a sedate time of writing the book, and I’m totally still planning to do that, but it looks like it’ll be delayed a month or two while I learn what roofs are made of and the pros and cons of oil versus electric versus gas hot water heaters, boilers, and stoves, and while I plan what I expect to be the simplest wedding imaginable, which still involves an alarming amount of effort. The only thing I’m prepared for is the actual marriage. The rest of it… I’ll be doing a lot of research for the next few years.