next... join me!

Arritey. So my last post, right before the election, said that this election was a referendum on the question, “ARE WOMEN PEOPLE?”

And the answer was, No. Women: Not quite people. Maybe almost people. But not quite. Not enough.

Also brown and black people. Almost people, maybe, but not quite.

And that has made the last few months pretty rough, because a lot of people I know are women, or not white, and some of them are even women who are not white. Some of them are Jews or Muslims.  Some of them are poor, or have been poor, or love people who are poor. And all of those people are not quite people, it turns out.


Except of course we are. Non-men and non-Christians and non-whites and non-affluents. All of us are people. Even people who aren’t American are people, and there’s just no vote that can change that.


So I’ve been trying to figure out what my job is, in a world where the vast majority of people aren’t quite people, according to the government.

And I’ve decided that my job is: more of the same.


So, two things, my people:

1. I’m writing a second book. The working title is BURNOUT. It’s about… burnout. Specifically, that feeling where you’re exhausted and overwhelmed by how much you’re doing, but you simultaneously feel like you’re not doing enough. Usually, a book about women’s sexuality would be followed by a book about men’s sexuality, or a book about relationships. But a huge number of people told me that the most important information in COME AS YOU ARE – a book about sex science – had nothing to do with sex, really. The most important information was the stuff about The Feels. Emotion. Stress. Completing the cycle. So I’m writing a book about stress.

I’m co-writing it with my sister, who is a choral conductor. (You’d be surprised how much choral conducting has in common with sex education; basically, we both have the job of being fully, authentically present, in order to inspire other people to do the same.)

The result is that I’m spending less time thinking about sex, specifically, and more time thinking about wellbeing, generally. Since this is a sex blog, I haven’t been writing here – I’ve been posting stuff on Medium instead, so if you’re like, “I WANT TO READ MORE EMILY,” go there.


2. Though most of the speaking events I’m doing are private – either colleges or professional trainings – there are some public events and I would sincerely love to meet you there.

I’ve found that getting out and talking to other people who are interested in women’s sexual pleasure and autonomy, who are interested in creating a world where everyone has access to sexual, reproductive, and intimate justice, and who believe that sex can be a force for good, even in a world where it is so often weaponized, is maybe the best thing for my soul. I think you might find it’s good for you, too.

So, join me! I’m out to make the world a better place for women’s sexual pleasure and autonomy, because these are the most dangerous, subversive things you can have, in a world where women are supposed to be property, vessels, or objects.